Make it easy to say yes: name the exact role (with the link), explain in two lines why you fit, attach your resume, and offer a short blurb they can paste into the referral form. Give them an easy out, and thank them whatever they decide.
| Situation | Timing |
|---|---|
| Before applying | Ask first — many referral programmes need the referral before your application |
| If no reply | One gentle nudge after about a week |
| After the outcome | Thank them either way |
Hi [their first name], I hope things are good at [their company]. I am applying for [role] ([link]) and would really value a referral if you feel comfortable. Why I think I fit: [two-line summary]. My resume is attached, and here is a short blurb you could paste: "[2–3 sentence blurb]" No pressure at all if it is not a good fit. [your name]
Hi [their first name], I am applying for [role] on the [team] team and saw you work there. Before I apply, would you be open to a 10-minute chat about what the team values? If after that you feel comfortable referring me, I would be grateful — but the advice alone would help. [your name]
Hi [their first name], [Mutual contact] suggested I reach out. I am interested in [role] at [their company]; my background is [one line]. Would you be willing to refer me, or point me to the hiring manager? I have attached my resume. Thanks so much, [your name]
Check how yours truncates on a phone with the subject line tester.
Name the role and link, explain briefly why you fit, attach your resume, offer a ready-to-paste blurb, and give them an easy way to decline.
Ask for a short conversation or advice first. A referral request is more likely to work once they know a little about you.
Usually after asking: many employee referral programmes need the referral submitted first so it is linked to your application. Ask your contact how their company does it.